Message in a Bottle?

I don't know why I'm starting a blog. I don't believe anyone will even find this obscure corner of the internet, let alone my page. But I think that is why I'm drawn to do it.

I'm not sure if anyone else has ever felt like this, but journaling feels weird...it does not feel natural. So, I feel like this blog is a way to make it more alive.

When I was young, I liked the idea of writing in a journal or diary.

I tried to keep one many times. It seemed weird though, to be writing something that nobody would ever read...even though I'm writing as if I'm talking to someone...but that someone is me...like, the whole thing just felt fake. I also realized I only felt like writing when something bothered me...and then that seemed weird too....almost selfish. Like I was on a pity party. It made me feel weak.

I totally understand keeping a little notebook to write thoughts so you don't forget. Good ideas, song lyrics...stuff like that. But a diary just didn't make sense for me, personally.

Now....many, many years later, I feel there is a lot I would like to say with very little people around me who want to listen. My children are at an age where I obviously know less than them. My social life consists of my husbands social group (since I have always been a loner) and they are very 'hive minded'. There's A LOT to unpack there for another time. long story short, I'm an outsider...and they don't accept outsiders. Have you ever been at a table, where you just could not join the conversation. Every time, being interrupted and talked over. I even tried to keep talking once...and they just got louder! Like literally almost yelling to drown me out and get the attention away from me. You can't even blame the listeners because who wouldn't get distracted by such yelling. I've never seen such a fascination, bordering obsession, over conversational control. I didn't think of my thoughts or opinions as being threatening until watching this group work so hard to shut me out. What about my mere inclusion was so bothersome? It was sort of amusing in a weird way. It didn't take long for me to just not engage at all, because what's the point really. Who cares to talk to someone if they don't have ears to listen? A conversation is supposed to be with more than one person taking part. Who would have thought this was not common sense. Maybe they are all just really rude and don't realize it. Who knows. I should really do a whole series on the stories I have surrounding this group, because this is pittance in comparison. I seriously think it would make quite the entertaining book.

Maybe that's where this will go. An exposè of sorts...of events I'm unable to talk about due to sensitivities of the groups I'm in orbit with. I'll use this blog as a modern day 'message in a bottle'....throwing my thoughts to the wide open internet ocean. I do not know if anyone will find it. These stories may be lost forever on the bottom of the internet floor. Maybe I'll get creative with the tone, have it feel like a play and name it

"Lady Persephonè & The Barons"

A modern day comedy & tragedy.

I think I like the sound of that.

If you actually happen to land here and find my stories amusing, shocking, relatable, or whatever....say hello. And if you happen to be associated with the group I am referring to in any post...have a laugh. Deep down, you know how it is. I've embraced it, so should you.