The Collector Cards: ROOKIE YEAR with an Alanis Morissette mix tape.

Before we begin with the saga of Lady Persephonè and the Barons, we need to understand Persephonè's backstory a bit. She is no stranger to judgement from others, and it used to put her in a constant state of explanation. And when you are always explaining yourself, you unknowingly validate the judgement. Its a viscous cycle. Maybe it was the Virgo in her, but Persephonè felt she had failed in life before she had even really got going. She felt like a baseball card. You know...where there is a picture on one side and on the reverse is all the players 'stats'. Well, her stats did not look like a card you would want to collect.

Her rookie year card looked very promising though. We will call this her high school age. She was captain of the swim team and track team two years in a row. She was the Homecoming Princess. Honor roll student. Highly involved in activities. Voted 'Best Artist' by her peers with many art awards under her belt by the time she graduated. She had earned letter awards since 9th grade. She was a loner, but popular. Popular, but didn't know it. Talented but humble. Tough but kind. A pretty girl but a tomboy. Like an Alanis Morissette song. Ahead of her time in ways and naive in all the ways that would eventually be her downfall.

Backing up a bit...Enter stage left...KATRINA.

Persephone was the youngest in her family, but not your typical 'baby' of the family. Her older sister, Katrina, had (and continues to have) mental issues and personality disorders of some sort. These issues were hidden from the outside world out of embarrassment and guilt felt by her Mother. Henceforth continuing the cycle of dysfunction of the family tree. Sounds like everyone's family honestly. Through this, many could probably relate to Persephonè's plight. You see, Persephones relationship with her family and most of all, her sister became a thread that would be part of the unraveling of her future tapestry. Katrina was her first relationship with another female other than her Mother. It would shape how she related to girls, how she trusted friends. She would eventually take steps to mend that thread in her own way, but lets go through the journey for the closure of it.

Katrina was extremely competitive. So much so that she could rarely join activities. You would actually think the opposite of her by observation. But it was an unusual case of too much competitiveness where she couldn't cope with losing at al...so she would rather not take part. She was especially competitive with Persephone. Unfortunately this was something Katrina could not UN-participate in. Persephonè was family and unavoidable. Her only option was to learn to control Persephone. Katrina never really wanted to have a little sister. And as Katrina saw it, there was really only room for one female in the family, and that was going to be her. She was to be the future head and Matriarch. She needed all the control of the men in the family as well. For instance, Katrina had to be held by her dad as a small child, Persephonè was rarely permitted that bonding time. Katrina controlled the relationship with her older brother as well, so Persephonè was always on the outside. And to this day...everyone but Persephone in the family has fallen in line.

Even though she would never admit it, Katrina needed Persephone. She was outgoing, free spirited and seemed to be naturally good at anything she tried. Katrina was introverted, not athletic, and highly unable to handle situations. Persephone was the embodiment of everything she wanted to be but couldn't. Instead of lifting her little sister up and being proud of her, she wanted her hidden from the world. So, Katrina used Persephone as her personal punching bag throughout school. She masked this as taking care of her annoying younger sister, but in truth she was controlling Persephone's exposure. The exposure for her to meet others and for others to meet her. Little did anyone know, Persephonè never asked to go with her. If anyone was really paying attention they would notice these things. Like the fact that Katrina never joined any activities until Persephonè did.

Persephone joined swimming on her own in 7th grade. The next day, Katrina joined with her as an 8th grader. Unfortunately for Katrina, Persephone was voted in as a Captain for her junior year which was not a normal occurrence. There was no way Katrina was going to be a Senior on the swim team and have her little sister be the Captain over her, so she quit. That was the only activity she joined. Looking back, Katrina probably was happy that Persephonè joined swimming. She probably secretly wanted to join but couldn't do it on her own. Either that, or she was not going to allow Persephonè to have all the spotlight. Maybe it was a combo of both. But that was not an event that hurt Persephonè, it just showed the extreme jealousy and competitiveness that Katrina had.

Early on in high school though, Katrina took notice that her sister was pretty well liked and popular by others. Persephonè's reputation could benefit Katrina. And for as long as it suited her, Katrina mellowed and acted like she was best friends with her sister. Persephone was happy to go along. It was as nice as a dysfunctional nice could be. But, Katrina's bad behavior had gone unchecked and unseen for so long, that she got bolder. Persephonè's mere existence became harder to leave alone and unchecked. She became better at lying and hiding. She was becoming a master manipulator. And Persephone was catching on.

One event that really opened Persephonè's eyes to just how much her sister despised her was when she started her senior year. At their school, when you become a senior, they put a baby picture of you next to your senior picture in the yearbook. Persephonè never really went through the family photo album, but was mortified upon opening it. All her baby pictures had been removed. Not whole sections of the album, not anyone else's pictures taken for keepsakes. Just hers. All of her alone as an infant were gone. It was like she was erased from the family. This seemed pre-meditated. Like, when Katrina went and got her own baby picture for the yearbook a year earlier, she must have decided to sabotage her sisters senior year event. Throughout high school, Persephonè would win lots of ribbons and tack them up on a board in her room. Katrina would go in and remove some here and there, a few at a time so not as noticeable. Persephonè learned young that she had to keep tabs on her possessions. Anything that made her look good was a target.

There were some troubling displays of behavior through the years that really made Persephone realize her sister had problems. She would be caught red handed stealing, and would dig her heals in to the end in defiance. There was never any closure in their house. No apologies. No trust. No safety. Once, Katrina stole some shorts that Persephone had to borrow from her friend (as they had gone swimming in their clothes and needed dry clothes to go home in). They were her best friends favorite shorts and needed to be returned first thing after the weekend. When Persephone went to get them out of the laundry to wash them, they were gone. This was one of the only times Persephone's Mother intervened to help. She knew it was unfair for one child to get away with hurting the friendship of her other child. Their mother made a rule that nobody would go anywhere till they were found. Finally! Some justice! thought Persephone. But it was short lived. Katrina finally suggested looking in the ceiling tiles in the basement after hours of arguing. Once found, it was revealed that Katrina had her monthly cycle and had an accident in the shorts. Katrina still insisted it was not her and it was actually Persephone that did this. Because of this, Persephone was told to tell her friend that she lost them to protect Katrina's embarrassment. Persephone lost her friends trust after that and they were never the same. It was hard for Persephone to have to lie and take the fall for her sister. But that was always what was done. Hide everything for the sake of Katrina and her sickness. She understood the embarrassment, but she didn't understand why she had to suffer for it.

Persephone became a lover of truth. Truth above all else. Truth is the only thing that gives closure. The type of hiding that the family did for Katrina did not help anyone, not even Katrina. She never learned to cope and accept her faults and things she had done. Persephone didn't understand how this was supposed to be a good thing.

The relationship with her sister was Persephone's first experience with bonding with another female. It was all she knew. But it was toxic. It would be the backbone of all future friendships, or lack thereof. Persephonè always struggled to connect to other girls. It wasn't until later in life that she connected the dots back to her sister and family dynamic.

Despite all the dysfunction growing up, which everyone has to deal with to a certain extent, Persephonè continued to shine all through high school.

But dysfunction leaves threads that fray and get caught in things. Persephone didn't even see the decline of her own self worth happening, it was done slowly and methodically by her sister her whole life. It was no wonder her first real relationship ended up being with an overly controlling man. The dysfunction of her family had caused her see obsessiveness and possessiveness as love and affection. She was a shining star despite her sisters meddling and was expected to be the one that was going places. But this would be the end of her Rookie Year debut. Real life was beginning and she was naive to it. Isn't that Ironic?

Next up....Scene 2: Enter Mitch the Mysterious