CHAPTER V : Persephonè's law of the relativity of happiness

At this point in Persephonè's life, a numbness had settled over her that she wasn't even aware of. Like someone had put her on cruise control, leaving her with no command of her ship. Yet, storms only happened sporadically, and the ocean was beautiful, so her current perspective was pretty positive. She was more isolated, yes. But she was happy people didn't think she was a 'loose' girl who got around. It was not that she cared what people thought. If they didn't like her for who she was, that was one thing. To think poorly of her because of a lie or a rumor, that was something else entirely. She genuinely just wanted to be a good person. Happiness was that simple to her. She always took her responsibility seriously as well. She had dealt herself this hand, and by golly she was going to play that hand to the best of her abilities.

Now that she was engaged, she needed to plan the wedding. Since this was new to her, she didn't really have any expectations on what it should look or feel like. Given her independent nature, it didn't even faze her. She never talked with her mother about girl things growing up...she kind of had to just figure that stuff out. So when it came to wedding planning, it was the same. She knew she didn't want to get married in Mitch's church, and gratefully he didn't expect her to. Actually, neither of them went to any church anymore. Because of this, it seemed obvious to have a justice of the peace marry them. It would create less tension for both families. But they did need to have witnesses. Persephone didn't ever really have a 'best friend'. well, let's put it this way...In elementary school, when prompted to write down your best friend on a piece of paper, she wrote her dogs name. So, she asked the only person she really thought was an option to be her maid of honor...Katrina. She knew she could have one of Mitch's sisters do it, but she also knew it would make her family upset too. Katrina was a choice everyone would accept and nobody could be mad at. She and Mitch also wanted to have a reception of some sort, so she planned theirs at the local community center. Easy access for everyone. Persephone and Mitch were the ones who lived the farthest away from it actually. She also didn't ask for much from her family either. She did her own invites and got her own $99 dress, not an official wedding dress, but she never needed fancy things anyway. It was strapless, mid calf length, with a classic A line silhouette. White of course, but had a black ribbon rim along bottom and top that gave it a slight 50's vibe. This strapless look would never have been accepted in Mitch's church, so this goes to show that even though she was somewhat lost, she wasn't totally gone. She still had a spark of originality and a refusal to conform. This she definitely got from her mother. Everything else was modest though. Minimal decorations consisting of fake calla lily flowers and an old bird cage for cards. The bird cage was actually her mother's suggestion (which Persephone thought added a unique touch). Her mother always had an artistic knack that was unrecognized, even by her mother. So it wasn't like this was a completely awkward, negative time involving her family...it was just....there. Not good, not bad...just floating. Suspended in time. It just wasn't this excited event you see in the movies...and everywhere else. A real shock had come before the wedding though. The morning of actually.

Persephone didn't know what to expect from asking her sister to be her maid of honor. She knew that her sister was not going to be able to make a speech or anything, that much was certain. Persephone would never put her sister in that position anyway. But she had hoped that she would take some sort of an interest in the wedding at some point...but it never came. Katrina actually didn't do anything...at all. So when Mitch's sisters Nita and Hillary (who were the closest in age to Persephonè) heard this, they took pity on her. They said they wanted to come spend the night with her, just hanging out as girls. So Persephonè wouldn't be alone while Mitch had his bachelor party with the guys. Not much of a bachlorette party, but that was never really a concern for her anyway. She was never a party girl. It was very thoughtful of them though, and it sort of blindsided her because Persephonè wasn't expecting anything special for herself...ever. It was surreal watching Mitch's family sometimes. His sisters seemed to have this closeness with each other that she had never experienced with her own sister, despite what others may have thought.

Nita and Hillary left early in the morning since Katrina was on her way. Mitch's sisters and Katrina should not be in the same vicinity...that much Persephonè knew. If Katrina saw them, she would most definitely be rude. Not by making a big dramatic scene, but subtly, in normal, condescending, Katrina fashion. But the time kept passing. Persephonè waited...and waited...until finally Katrina showed up, rushed and not anywhere close to being ready. She saw Persephonè in her pajamas and exclaimed "You're not ready yet!?" What Persephonè thought was gonna be her sister coming to help her get ready for her big day, turned into a reminder that Katrina expected Persephonè to orbit around her. Persephonè had to curl Katrina's hair, style it and do her makeup. With little time left, Persephonè threw herself together to not be late. She was hurt, confused, but also mad at herself for ever expecting something else. She should have known. As she looked in the mirror, she realized she had spent the morning preparing someone else for what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. She wondered why she wasn't more upset. Perhaps it was because she knew this was never going to be the happiest day of her life. Deep down, she realized she had mistaken contentment for happiness. It was these types of moments that adjust a person's perspective. Perhaps happiness had never been an absolute thing at all. Perhaps it only ever existed in relation to what you had known before.