CHAPTER VI : Surrender

Persephone was beginning to suspect that happiness had less to do with circumstances and more to do with what you knew. Looking back, she sometimes missed the girl who understood less. Ignorance really could be bliss. She was becoming even more of a loner than she already was, but this time, it was not by choice or character.

Now that college was over, she had work and her relationship. It seemed her life was getting smaller, but somehow felt like it was swelling. She was still living at home, but her family could not stand the presence of Mitch, and Persephone was on autopilot. Just being. It might sound peaceful, but it was a state of detachment. She sort of settled into a rhythm with her present life that allowed it to be enjoyable. Moments from this time would still be a bit of a blur to her. Memories here and there, but the passage of time seemed to be off kilter. For the first time in her life, home no longer felt like home. And she was no longer welcome there. Her parents arranged for her to live with her Grandma a few towns away. Not because she was being rude or doing anything crazy. It was solely due to her relationship. I guess maybe her parents thought if she had to fend for herself a bit more that maybe she would come to her senses.

This confused her. She was eighteen years old. How could she get kicked out...but then be told where she can and cannot live? There was too much control going on in her life. It felt suffocating. She finally found the strength to make her objections towards her family. To speak out. Mitch encouraged that strength in her...as long as it was in the direction he approved. But it came with a price. She walked out of one place with her head held somewhat high, all while starting another life hidden in shadows.

Persephone quit working at the family mart, asked her older Brother if she could live on his couch for a while and that was that. Her brother lived in a trailer, so there really was not room for her there either. It should have been obvious to her that this was not an arrangement that was going to work out. She just didn't want to go live with her Grandma. Eventually they suggested that she just find a place and live with Mitch. "you guys are engaged and spend all your time together anyway". Her sister-in-law said to her. Persephone didn't object. She didn't really know what to do. Again, just autopilot.

Mitch and her went from one town, to another, a few times, changing jobs. And of course, moments periodically happened that would make her pause and reflect. To wonder how everything had gone so wrong. One such moment...a car ride with Mitch and her dog they had recently gotten. Mitch was driving too fast and erratic which caused the dog to get car sick in the back seat. He had a very short fuse when it came to animals. He was so angry that he was beating the dog in the back seat while still driving. She felt hopeless. She couldn't protect her own dog. Persephone started to cry and begged him to stop. He turned around with jowls clenched in frustration. He started driving. North maybe. Or northeast...she couldn't really tell. She didn't know where they were going, and he wouldn't tell her. He just kept going farther and farther away. There was an ominous silence in the car. The feeling of anger mixed with anxiety and fear had an unwelcoming presence that lingered.

The drive was interrupted by flashes and sirens. Mitch was getting pulled over. The anger left the car and the air now had a double dose of anxiety. He told Persephone to make sure not to cause a scene. She felt numb. Empty. She didn't even know what was going on. She just froze. Once the female officer saw Persephone, she knew something wasn't right. They had a brief, unspoken connection of understanding. Persephone could feel it. She was instructed to go sit in the cop car so they could talk privately. She was so kind to her. Her voice softened the moment they were alone, like a mother concerned for her young. Looking back, Persephone wished she had been brave enough to know there was always another way. But she didn't know that yet. All she knew was that her dog was in the other car with Mitch. What would he do to it if she left? Where would she even go? Who would she live with? She also knew that there was nothing Mitch could do to her now that he had been pulled over. She was sure there would be a record of the interaction. She let the officer know that they were just having a fight and she was worried about her dog, but that she could handle it. The officer tried to prod her a bit more, but Persephone was insistent. She would go back to Mitch, get her dog safe, and make the best of it once again. Shortly after this incident, she surrendered her dog to the humane society. This was no life for a dog. If she couldn't do anything about her life, she could at least save him.