CHAPTER VII : CULTure Shock

When people visit other lands, they often talk about 'culture shock'. A term people use to describe that odd feeling of realizing that people live much different than what you consider normal. Normal is another relative thing. Persephonè, trying to be accepted for who she was in Mitch's world, didn't really feel like she could put her experience in the same arena as culture shock. She had a sense that this was a bit...darker. It felt more and more like they were moving into the realm of a cult more than a simple tight knit community.

That being said, It wouldn't take long once they returned home to normal life, that the pressure to conform to Mitch's religion started. Looking back, it actually happened with small events involving her hair, or her image. He got good at disguising rules as compliments. He'd tell her that he liked her natural look...so she should not pluck her eyebrows anymore. Eventually, the TV became the villain too. During an argument, about what Persephonè couldn't even remember, it morphed into an issue about their TV. Mitch got so furious, he ripped it off the wall and threw it into the apartment dumpster. Literally the next day he went and bought a new one so he could watch the baseball game. She could see he was struggling with who he was supposed to be. But It didn't seem fair. She entered this relationship with honesty about who she was. It started to feel as though the expectations had changed after the wedding.

Some of the changes seemed positive...at first glance. There was this thing people from Mitch's church did to greet each other. A simple hand shake followed by the words "Gods Peace". But they said it so fast it kind of turned into a form of slang and sounded more like 'Ga'speace". Well, they started greeting Persephonè this way. She felt like a phony to return the greeting because it was so foreign to her, but eventually it became second nature. They only did it to other 'Christians' though. You see, they didn't consider any other religion as Christian other than their own. Didn't matter if you believed in Jesus. They were the only true Christians. This way of thinking is put on the children at a pretty young age too. When children started kindergarten, the first question they would get asked is "are there any other Christians in your class?". The first time Persephonè witnessed this, it really took her back. Especially since the child responded with a "No" and a downtrodden face. She didn't have words for it at the time, but looking back she could see the manipulation and control tactics the church imposed starting immediately with the children. So, she should have realized that the probability of Mitch being pressured behind her back was pretty high. Maybe they should have talked this through much earlier in their relationship.

Moving forward, not long after marriage, they decided it was time to buy a home. Her Grandma just so happened to be selling hers, and it was just one town over from where she grew up. Seemed perfect. She probably should have had more caution, but it was her grandma after all, so what was the worst that could happen? As they were to finalize the paperwork for the house though, her Grandma requested that her parents not be present. She was a little taken aback, but it was the day of closing and she was just so excited to have a home. When all was said and done and they got the keys to their new home, they realized they were too trusting. The house was barely surface-cleaned and the basement was full of stuff they would have to dispose of. Probably the worst of it came when they realized there were multiple diseased trees on the property that her Grandma was aware of that she never disclosed. It was mandatory that they be removed and would cost a few thousand. After this, conversations about her family seemed to come easier for Mitch. Whenever they disappointed her, he quietly added another brick to the wall between them.

Then came Mitch's father. Word had somehow spread that they had a new home and suddenly he needed a place to stay. Persephonè barely knew the man, but because he was family, there never seemed to be a conversation about whether she was comfortable with it. Their first home as newlyweds no longer felt like theirs. His newspapers piled up, his mess spread through the living room and even retreating to the bathroom offered little escape. Persephone found herself spending more and more time behind the closed bedroom door. It was the only room that still felt like her own.

It was also during this time, that her mother wanted to build a coffee shop next to their gas station. Since Persephonè had experience in managing a coffee shop, she was happy to take on the challenge. It seemed to be good timing as Mitch's dad was able to help build the coffee shop. She learned so much about business through this endeavor. It was more valuable than any college degree she could have gotten. She not only oversaw the whole construction and helped build it, but she also lined up all the distributors and made the whole menu. From before sunrise till late evening, she was at that shop. It didn't feel like work. It was like a second home, but this home brought out the side of Persephonè that was getting lost. The fun girl from the mart was back in town and the community loved it. She took so much pride in her product and what she was building, that it was hard for her to leave her hired workers unattended. She had this feeling that if she wasn't doing it, it wasn't getting done right. She was always a bit of a perfectionist. She picked the best espresso to be shipped in from Italy and chose syrups made from real fruit. Not that the townspeople understood or cared. They were farmers and country folk after all. Content with the simple things in life. Needless to say...they sold a lot of straight, black, coffee.

But problems soon arose at the coffee shop. Oddly, the problem was not the business itself, but the townspeople. Perhaps they loved the coffee shop too much. It became their second home too. She forgot how much they felt like the things belonged to them. On one occasion, the townspeople came in with a bingo machine and a cart of crock pots filled with food. They moved all the tables and took over the whole place like it was a community center to be used at their whim. They bought no drinks or sandwiches and proceeded to stay til past closing. Playing games and having fun. Persephonè was so overtaken and shocked that she just stood in her back kitchen area in tears. Given situations like this, and the fact that Persephonè's parents were overloaded at their home from housing her grandparents and uncle, the gas station and coffee shop just seemed to be too much for everyone to maintain. They closed down the coffee shop first which allowed her parents to convert it into their own little hideaway. They needed an escape from the stressors from their own life. So Persephone, though sad to see it go, knew her parents needed this to keep their own sanity.

This theme of not having full control of what happened in her life grew louder and louder. Sometimes Mitch and Persephonè would break, and an argument would arise. Persephonè would find herself cornered in their bedroom many times with an explosive Mitch not tolerating anything she had to say. Yelling, throwing things, raising his hands in anger. At this time in her life, the only form of abuse that she was aware of was physical. And sometimes, in those moments, she found herself hoping he would hit her. Not because she actually wanted to be hit. She just didn't understand yet that some wounds never leave bruises.